all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
