What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize