that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
