To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
