can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
