I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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