he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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