Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize