After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
