I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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