Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
