I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
