Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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