GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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