If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
