she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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