In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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