Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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