Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
