Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
