1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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