I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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