just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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