Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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