I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We got so high we made milksteak
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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