Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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