thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rumble strips road head = magical
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
