yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
