i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
