It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
