i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
