he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
