I wanna passion pit in your ass
i love accidental penises.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
