called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
