i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Green mimosas i think yes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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