i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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