The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I want to be your penis for a week.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
