dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?