Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Couch. On fire.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
