All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I will pee on everything he values.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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