I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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