Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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