I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
