The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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