dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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