in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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