batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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