It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
