We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
