i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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