My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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