You can't special order awesome
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
