TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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