you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
