I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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