You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
