Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
