I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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