I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
