i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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