Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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