Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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