I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
